Forever Girl Read online

  The doorbell rings and I look out my window to see who’s out there. The pizza guy’s waiting for me. I call out the window that I’ll be right there. I get the money out of my purse and open the door and Nic is there also. I say Hi to Jess and tell her to go on up the stairs and I’ll be there in a minute. I give the guy two twenties and tell him to keep the change. He thanks me and leaves. I carry the pizza’s up to the kitchen and set them down on the counter. I can tell she’s scoping the place out. I give her the opportunity to walk around and look at the home I’ve made for me and my children. She’s looking at the pictures I have everywhere of the twins. I go to the sliding glass door and open the screen and tell the twins it’s dinner time. They come clomping up the stairs and see Nic’s already here. They get so excited and try to talk to her at the same time. I have to whistle for them to stop. I look at them both and tell them it’s time to wash up. Jazz goes into the half bath first and washes her hands.

  “Aunt Nic do you need to wash your hands still? If you do ladies always go first.” Jamie says to her with a serious face.

  “Sure I can wash my hands.” She says to him.

  “Momma what about you?”

  “Thank you son for being such a little gentleman.” I say with a smile.

  I wash my hands and he goes in behind me and does the same.

  “Do you want to watch a movie while you eat?” I ask the twins.

  “Yes please.” They both yell out.

  “What do you two want to watch?”

  They discuss it for a minute and say they want to watch.

  “The Good Dinosaur.” They say at the same time.

  I grab the movie and put it in the DVD player.

  “You still have to eat at the table. I’ll turn the TV so that you can watch while you eat.” I say as I get them situated.

  “Do you still like Supreme no green peppers?” I ask

  “It’s still the only pizza I like.” She responds with a smile.

  She and I both laugh and make our way to the kitchen where I give her a paper plate.

  “What do you want to drink?”

  “Whatever you’re having.” She responds.

  “I’m having a glass of wine.”

  “I’ll take one or three of those.” Is her response.

  “That was my thought exactly.” I say to her with a smile.

  We both laugh and I pour us each a mason jar full of wine.

  The twins talk her into tucking them into bed and telling them a bedtime story. I’ve given my cuddles and told them I love them both. I watch her sit on the floor between both their beds and tell them the story that they both chose. When she’s finished telling them the story she gives them both kisses and hugs and tells them she loves them.

  “You’ll talk to daddy and ask him come back home won’t you?” Jamie asks in a sleepy voice.

  “You can bet on it little guy. Now off to sleepy land for you.” She says to him while taking a deep breath.

  I walk back upstairs and fill my glass back up. I know when she comes up here our lives will change forever. We’ll have to talk about the past, present, and the future. I’m nervous, scared, happy and excited all at the same time.

  “You’ve done a wonderful job with them.” As she comes up the stairs.

  “Thank you.” I say with my emotions showing in my voice.

  We each grab our glasses of wine and make our way to the couch to talk.

  Chapter 6

  Lyric

  Then

  I made an appointment with Jess’ Doctor. The soonest they could get me in was three months after I called. I went to the appointment thinking it was the perfect time. I’m sick to my stomach and my breast hurt. I figure I’m about to have another period. I tell Dr. Snow about not having my first period until a couple of months ago.

  “I want to run some test. I think putting you on birth control to regulate your menstrual cycle a good idea that way your body can straighten itself out. Are sexual active?” She asks me.

  “I lost my virginity recently. I have no plans to have sex again in the future anytime soon.” I tell her.

  “Well let’s do and ultrasound to see if everything looks normal in there. It doesn’t happen often that someone starts their period for the first time at your age. We’re also going to do a pap exam. That’s also something that should be done now that you’ve started you cycle.” She says with a warm smile.

  After the exam is over I’m told that I can put my clothes back on and tuck the paper cloth into my waist.

  “It’ll be a few minutes and I’ll have a technician come in to do the ultrasound.”

  I put my shirt and bra back on and someone knocks on the door. I have just enough time to put the paper cloth thing over my lower stomach and legs when the door open. Dr. Snow comes back in with a strange look on her face.

  “I just got a test results back from your urine you provided before the exam.”

  I’m holding my breath thinking Okay something is seriously wrong.

  “Am I dying or something?”

  “You’re not dying sweetheart you’re pregnant.” She tells me.

  I swear all the oxygen is sucked out of the room with that sentence.

  “You’re joking right? You have to be. It was only once and I can’t be pregnant I’m only seventeen and still in school. This isn’t part of my plan. Oh my god what am I going to do know?” I say to her with desperation in my voice.

  “Let’s do the ultrasound.” She says and gives me a sympathetic smile.

  I get up on the table and my legs are shaking so bad I think they might give out. I can’t believe I’m fucking pregnant. I think I would rather have cancer than have to go home and tell Ali I’m pregnant. I wonder to myself if this is how she felt when she found out she was pregnant with me. I know one thing I’ll be a better mom to my baby than she was to me. That’s my promise to him or her right now. I’m thinking about how much money is in my saving account right now. How much longer can I work before I have this baby? I’ve been saving all my money for college. I’ll have to put that on the back burner for now. I can go to BCTC that won’t be too expensive. I bet they have grants and scholarships I can apply for that won’t cost me too much out of pocket. I think about having to sign up for welfare. I need to get Medicaid for me and the baby until I can find a job that offers insurance. The technician comes in with the Ultra Sound machine. Dr. Snow tells me to lay back and relax. The technician squirts some warm gel on my stomach and takes the probe and starts rolling it across my belly. It feels kind of weird but it doesn’t hurt or anything. She starts taking pictures and I wonder what it is she’s seeing. Dr. Snow has the tech stop and they talk for a minute.

  “Do you see that black spot that’s fluttering?” She says after a few minutes.

  “Which one? I see two.”

  “Well either one of them.” She says to me.

  “Yeah I see them what is it?”

  “Instead of one baby you have two in there. You’re having twins.” She says to me.

  All I can think is shit what am I really going to do now.

  “The fluttering is their hearts beating.” She precedes to tell me.

  I think in that one moment I found what real loves is.

  “Wipe the gel off your stomach and meet me in my office when you’re done.” She says as she starts for the door.

  I get dressed as fast as I can and make my way to her office. When I get there she asks me to sit down.

  “Do you have any questions for me?” She asks

  “When am I due? How long can I work for?”

  She tells me that I am due April 25th and I can work until I’m thirty-six weeks if everything goes as planned with the pregnancy.

  I grabbed a newspaper after I left the Doctors Office and started looking for a place to move into. I knew I couldn’t stay at Ali’s any longer. Especially being pregnant so I started calling all the ads in the newspaper that we’re reasonably priced. I hoped the people ren
ting wouldn’t be concerned when I showed up because I was young and tried charging me like I was a college student. I was just about to give up and go to Ali’s house for the night when I talked to a gentleman on the phone.

  “I can show you my property today.” He tells me.

  The place wasn’t too far from the grocery store or the doctor’s office. As I wait to meet him I start looking at cars because heaven knows I’ll need one of those also. I meet up with the landlord and get an excited feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’m really liking the town house community and it seems to be a safe little community.

  “When will it be available?” I ask after I do the walk through.

  “It’s available now.” He says to my astonishment.

  “What’s the catch?” I ask him.

  “My wife and I haven’t been able to keep a renter in the place. We’ve been renting to friends and family members and they wouldn’t actually pay rent.”

  “I didn’t have a car would you mind giving me a ride to the bank.” I ask him sheepishly.

  “Sure I can give you a ride to the bank. Are you going into College?” He says with a laugh.

  “I’m a senior in High School and I just found out I’m pregnant. I’ve been working since I was fifteen years old and I’ve saved every penny. If you give me a chance I’ll pay my rent every month and you won’t have a problem with me as a tenant I promise.”

  “Sometimes people just need a break. I think you’re just that person. I’ll rent the place to you. You have to pay the first month’s rent and but no deposit.”

  “Can I have that ride to the bank please?” I ask after I give him a hug.

  “Sure thing darlin.” He chuckles and pats my back.

  “Do you happen to know of anyone wanting to sell a reliable car?” I ask on the way to the bank.

  “As a matter of fact darlin I do. I have a mechanic friend that fixes cars and he just bought a car and fixed it up and wants to sell it.”

  I ask how much and he tells me that he’ll call the guy while I’m in the bank and find out for me. When I get back into the truck Brian tells me his guy will sell the car for two thousand dollars.

  “Do you mind waiting a few more minutes while I go back into the bank?” I ask sheepishly.

  “I don’t mind.” He says with a small laugh.

  As he gives another small laugh. I have a little more than $10,000 in my savings account that Ali knows nothing about. She’s always thought I worked part time and blew my money on junk. She’d be pissed if she knew I had that much money in the bank. I walk back in a withdraw another $2300 so I can get plates for the car tomorrow. I walk out knowing that I’ll still have a little more than $7000 in the bank. I’ll be careful and tuck away all the money I can while I’m pregnant.

  Brian takes me to purchase and pick up the car. I leave there to go to Ali’s house to get the few things I have there that I want to take with me. I’m just going to grab my clothes, my toiletries and a few things I don’t want to leave there. If I tried to take anything else, it would be a fight with her and that’s something I don’t want to do. I arrive at her house and thank goodness she’s not home. I run in and get what I’m taking and leave her a note that says I’m moving out and I’ll stop by at some point. I don’t really think that she’ll care if I stop by or not. I stop by the grocery store and pick up a few things that I’ll need for the next couple of days. Then I make my way to my new home. I walk into the house and I’m so giddy I could scream. I do a little dance and start putting my groceries away. It’s 6 pm so I decide I need to go to the second hand store on New Circle Rd. I also make a note to myself to go to the Dollar Store to pick up some odds and ins. I end up finding some excellent deals. By the time I get home I’ll have a couch, love seat, coffee table, end tables, queen size bed, and a small pub table delivered. I’m excited that I found all off this for less than $400. I also picked up towels, wash clothes, comforter set, pillows, dishes, silverware, cups, glasses, pots, and pans at the dollar store. I did not realize all the things that I would need to set up a home. At this point I don’t even care. I’m happy to start living my life on my own. I wish I knew how to get a hold of Dean to let him know I’m pregnant. He doesn’t have a Facebook neither does Nic. The cell numbers for them aren’t working either. I tried at least once a day for the last month. There’s not much more I can do to try and find them. I’ll have to do this on my own. I will because I have two little people that remind me that there’s more important thing in the world that matter.

  I’ve been working and saving all of my money since renting the Townhouse. I had to spend some money on getting the twins’ room together. Buying two of everything is crazy expensive but they’re worth it. I found out a couple of months ago that I’m having a boy and a girl. Jess and I painted their room a neutral color but I’ve bought blue and pink for them separately. I stopped a couple months back at Ali’s and as soon as she found out I was pregnant she called me a whore and a slut.

  “You’ll never come back to my house. I won’t help you raise your little bastards.” She says to me with venom.

  “You don’t have to worry about that.”

  I walked out of her house giving her my middle finger. I got into my car and drove away. I Graduate in May but I finished school in December which was a blessing. I’m still debating if I’ll walk in with the Graduation Class or just ask for my Diploma to be sent to me. I have less than two weeks before I’m off on Maternity Leave. I’ve got more important things to worry myself with like saving all I can right now. I’m almost 35 weeks now and I’m ready to have my babies here. I have an Appointment with Dr. Stone in an hour. Which is a good thing because my back’s been aching for the past couple of hours. I get to the Dr. Snow’s early and I register with the receptionist. I get a really intense pain radiating from my back and I have liquid running down my leg. I look down and back at the receptionist. The receptionist looks at me and gets up from her seat and comes hurrying out from behind her work station. She helps get me into the back where she can get the nurse and Doctor. Dr. Snow rushes in followed by the nurse and they help me get out of my wet pants and onto the exam table.

  “I need to call an ambulance to transport you to the hospital Lyric. You’re already dilated to 6 centimeters.” Doc says to me.

  I guess means the babies are on their way.

  “I’ll be riding to the hospital with you in case I need to deliver in the ambulance.”

  I’m grateful for that small miracle because I’m fucking scared right now. I call Jess before the Ambulance gets here.

  “Jess, I’m getting ready to leave for the hospital. Will you come pick my car up and take to my house please.”

  “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll also call work and let them know that your Maternity Leave starts today. I’ll see me soon and I can’t wait to see the twins.” Jess says.

  I hang up on her because I’m in so much pain that the phone drops from my hand. I hold my breath trying to keep myself from screaming.

  “You have to do your breathing Lyric. When the next contraction hits I’ll do the breathing technic with you.”

  Doc says to me when she sees that I’m holding my breath. I get to the hospital with no time to spare.

  As the Medics are wheeling me into the emergency room I feel like I’m getting ready to have one of them.

  “I can feel one of the heads trying to coming out.” I yell to whoever will listen.

  The gurney stops and she’s at the end of the gurney pulling the blanket up to see what’s going on down there. She shouts to someone to bring her gloves and a gown stat. I’m in too much pain to care that everyone and their mother can see my business as I feel the urge to push.

  “Don’t push yet. I need to get gloves on. You need to start your breathing technic.” Doc says and I just want to tell her to fuck off.

  I feel like punching her in the face, but I couldn’t do that even if I wanted to because the pain is so intense. I feel like I’m
being ripped apart from the inside out. I vow to myself right then; that I’ll never have another child. I don’t know how people can do this multiple times.

  “The next time you feel like you need to push you can.” Doc finally tells me.

  As soon as those words leave her mouth I feel the urge.

  “I need to push right now.”

  I feel a person on each side of me grabbing my legs and raising them toward my chest as she tells me to go ahead and push. The pain is immense and then there’s so much pressure. I feel like I’m not going to be able to do this and then I feel the head come through.

  “Stop pushing Lyric.” She tells me.

  She does something down there but I’m not sure what though.